So I defied all physics
Okay, so today while I was going through some old drawings i made when i was little, when the fattest earwig crawled out of one of the pages and onto my bed. Because I haven't seen one of those things for about four years and I am terrified of anything that has more than four legs, I picked up the nearest thing to me and chucked it at the insect, which happened to be a stapler.
CONSIDERING ANY OTHER TIME MY AIM IS GODAWFUL, I was like HOLY SHIT when it actually hit it.
But then when I went to remove the carcass, it had DISAPEARED
I thought that maybe the stapler had caused it to bounce off the bed so i armed myself with bug bite spray (its no bug killer spray but hey it's all we had and i doubt it would give the bugger super powers) and hunted around my room for it for like half an hour being all like Liam fucking Neeson from taken.
BUT AFTER TEARING MY ROOM APART, I COULDN'T FIND IT
so I was like 'lol, wouldn't it be funny if it was in the stapler this whole time?'
IT WAS IN THE FUCKING STAPLER
SOMEHOW, AFTER I THREW THE STAPLER AT APPARANTLY THE SPEED OF MATTER, THE BUG FUSED THROUGH THE PLASTIC AND ENDED UP IN THE PLACE WHERE IT STORES THE STAPLES
IT IS LITERALLY
So this is probably the longest journal I've ever written and its about a bug. Wow.